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The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children, by Ross W. Greene
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Screaming, swearing, crying, hitting, kicking, spitting, biting...these are some of the challenging behaviors we see in kids who are having difficulty meeting our expectations. These behaviors often leave parents feeling frustrated, angry, overwhelmed, and desperate for answers. In this fully revised and updated book, Dr. Ross Greene helps you understand why and when your child does these things and how to respond in ways that are nonpunitive, nonadversarial, humane, and effective.
Dr. Greene describes how best to:
- Understand the factors that contribute to challenging episodes.
- Identify the specific situations in which challenging episodes are likely to occur.
- Reduce or eliminate challenging episodes by solving the problems that cause them.
- Solve problems collaboratively (rather than unilaterally) and proactively (rather than reactively).
- Help your child develop the skills to be more flexible, solve problems, and handle frustration more adaptively.
- Reduce hostility and antagonism between you and your child.
With Dr. Greene's practical, expert guidance, you and your child will forge a new relationship based on communication and mutual respect.
- Sales Rank: #883 in Books
- Brand: Brand: Harper Paperbacks
- Published on: 2014-05-20
- Released on: 2014-05-20
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.00" h x .68" w x 5.31" l, .50 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 304 pages
- Used Book in Good Condition
About the Author
Ross W. Greene, Ph.D., is the originator of the Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS) model described in this book, an approach he has researched extensively, along with colleagues throughout the world. Dr. Greene served on the faculty at Harvard Medical School for over 20 years, and is currently Founding Director of the non-profit Lives in the Balance and adjunct Associate Professor in the Department of Psychology at Virginia Tech. He consults extensively to families, schools, and therapeutic facilities and lectures widely internationally. Vast free resources on the CPS approach can be found on the Lives in the Balance website (www.livesinthebalance.org).
Most helpful customer reviews
249 of 258 people found the following review helpful.
Helped our household; Helped me.
By DocDenver
Our child isn't "explosive" but just way harder to get to do stuff than some - i.e. transition from bed to up, from TV to homework, from friend's house to car, etc. This book really helps in explaining those behaviors so they make sense and giving techniques to avoid the threats and yelling that I hate to say was getting pretty common in our house. Maybe better title: "The Explosive Parent; A New Approach for Understanding and Dealing With the Strange Person You Become sometimes when Dealing With Your Child."
197 of 210 people found the following review helpful.
this book helped me make sense of my own childhood.
By Amazon Customer
This was an excellent read. I'm 30 years old, and I was not reading this for my own parenting skills (although that was a definite perk), but to gain some insight as to why my own childhood was incredibly hurtful, frustrating, and confusing. Coming from a home with no abuse or out and out mistreatment, it is hard even at this point to look back and make sense of why growing up was so difficult. I had problems in school, although I tried very hard, and I was constantly getting in trouble for not following through on things, even though I didn't realize what I hadn't followed through on. I had problems getting along with peers and siblings, and spent a lot of time wondering why I was so stupid and lonely. I had plan A parents, and this book was really helpful in making sense of it all. I'm pretty sure this book isn't supposed to make you cry, but I did. I can vouch for kids like me, that they aren't failing because they want to be defiant and rebellious. Kids like me experience pain in constantly trying to succeed and failing, feeling burned out, and acting out of intense frustration. Discipline won't help that, because the child already knows and is trying. Helping your kid develop skills to overcome those challenges is what they need. Excellent book... 5 stars.
357 of 363 people found the following review helpful.
Great resource for truly coping with explosiveness
By Amazon Customer
I read The Explosive Child after reading The Defiant Child (and attending a Douglas Riley-esque parenting class). The problem with the premise in The Defiant Child, and in most of the negative reviews on this book, is that there are many adults who cling obstinately to the belief that these children are capable of doing better than they are, and if the adult can just make said child's life difficult enough, he/she will shape up.
The problem with that line of thinking, and the subsequent "strategies" it produces, is that no matter how much I punish a child, if he/she is incapable of doing better, the issues we face will persist. It is akin to punishing a child who needs glasses for not being able to see. A much better solution all around would be to get him/her glasses.
My daughter, in the Riley worldview, would be "punishing me" or "controlling" and "manipulating." What I saw was a little girl who was so very overwhelmed by various aspects of her environment, that she had no adaptations, no ability to cope. I can't imagine what it must be like to live in a world where the way your plate is turned at dinner, or which direction your socks are facing, is so overwhelming a proposition that you lose the ability to function and/or think rationally. That's the little girl I was living with. The little girl who could blow up over the most incomprehensible thing, and for whom most of life's daily situations and frustrations were just more than she could bear.
In the calm between storms, she was (and still is) a delightful girl - funny, bright, loving, and always, always remorseful after an explosion. I knew she knew what she was doing was wrong, and moreover, she didn't want to be doing it at all. A common conversation, post-blow up, involved my baby girl, red-faced, tear soaked and shaking, saying, "Mommy, do you still love me? Even when I lose all my marbles?" What amount of punishment was going to solve that? She KNEW what she was doing was wrong, the problem was that she had no other strategies for dealing with her overwhelming frustrations.
My goal in seeking treatment for her at all in the first place was not about how I could make a phone call or waste time on the computer without her "bothering" me (actual parenting class verbiage there), but how I could soothe my daughter. If I never talked on the phone without interruption again, it would be a small price to pay to help soothe my girl - to help her cope with the stuff of life.
That's what I feel like I have gotten in this book - a set of strategies to employ, as part of a complete parenting philosophy. More importantly, it accomplishes these goals without the guiding philosophy of "I'm bigger than you, and I can inflict several different types of pain to get you to comply."
That's the best way I can describe this book: it is like getting glasses, and finally being able to see the world.
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